Well, Wednesday Night Was Like a Back-To-Teaching High School Kind Of Night. The Brain Wouldn't Shut Off.

I went to bed by 10 o'clock Wednesday night because I knew I had to get up early and that the day was going to be extremely long. As soon as I hit the pillow, however, my brain went into overdrive. At first it was wondering why Chitunga didn't respond to a goodnight text, but when that came in around 11:30, it turned into worrying about where I am in life, if its the right location, how to coexist with the hypocrisy of everything, did I remember to register all teachers for the conferences, who is going to take care of the grants and finances that come CWP's way, when will I fall asleep, and will the pace ever stop.

I didn't plan this...it just happened. This, of course, triggered memories from teaching high school in Kentucky in my late 20s when these sort of nights were the norm (something about male development in the brain and being rational for the first time - the moral compass takes off). At that time, I could sometimes go two to three nights without sleep and it was awful. I would drag and feel like I was going to vomit.

Of course, when I tried to clear my brain what song would jump into my mind? Flight of the Bumblee. Why wouldn't I have a fast-pace song like that stirring around while lying in bed.

I went from 11 to 12. 12 to 1. 1 to 2. 2 to 3. 3 to 4. At about 4, I think I dozed off until 5:30. The brain would not stop throwing thoughts around in every direction and nothing I tried would calm it down. I haven't had a bad sleep like this in a long time, and I spent most of Thursday wondering what I ate or drank that would trigger this. I didn't have caffeine and it seemed odd that I was trying to sleep, ready to sleep, but the head had something else in store.

On second thought, the one thing I did different before going to sleep is playing several lightening rounds of team Words with Friends games - perhaps that is what caused it. The fast word play triggered second after second after second. The brain was simply on synapse euphoria.

Needless to say, by the time Thursday night came around I was ready to crash: headache, bags under my eyes, aches and worry that another night might occur.

I'm going to chalk this up to back-to-school paranoia, but the truth is, the year never seems to end for me...it's just a giant blur. Ah, sleep. It is so important and life-changing.

I think if one could see a video of all that races in my mind at these times, they'd laugh hysterically. It simply goes fast forward through all aspects of my life for hours and hours. I hate it. And I always try to be sure it won't happen again.

That's what stress does for ya.