It's been my aim to be a wise fool, I guess. It's all good, right? Yes? No?
Actually, I am being both happy and sarcastic. I am thankful for everything that comes my way in this world, but I am growing scared of the bags under my eyes.
Abu posted a photo of him teaching Kwame Alexander's book to middle school youth early this week on Twitter and I was amused to see the picture, only because the story of Kwame's excellence has been with me since I've set out to be a mediocre director at a National Writing Project site. The skinny is I knew that Kwame's writing is exactly what adolescent readers needed and I was lucky enough to know of it before it went on the national scene. All of his books have become central to the Connecticut Writing Project work we do with teachers and young people, and I am LUCKY that I've been on the pulse of great YA writing for a few years now. I wouldn't trade that for the world.
In yesteryear, too, I remember Kwame discussed with classrooms the power of saying "Yes," to opportunities that come your way. It's the first time I've ever heard someone actually say it out loud and it resonated with me because, heck, I've been a YES YES YES and YES guy most of my professional career. The doors have opened, the experiences have been phenomenal, and riding the wave has been miraculous, actually, throughout most of my life because I've been a Yes to everything sort of soul.
The Great Whatever. Phew.
Yesterday, though, I drove home after the third 13-hour day saying to myself, "No. No. No. No. No. No. No." I need to learn to say "No," to protect my health, my heart, my mind, and my energy.
Haven't learned how to do it yet, but it's on my radar. Practicing here: No. No. No. No.
This morning, however, I'm heading out to do a workshop for 100 or so middle school kids and their teachers, and I remain flattered that I get asked to do this great work every year (especially in celebration of Martin Luther King, Jr.). I'm sure tomorrow, too, I will post about how much I loved the work. I'm sure it will be as great as the workshops I did last week, and the week before and with my graduate courses, and with my graduate students, and throughout the PD occurring in districts all across the state.
But Crandall has a breaking point and I am tired.
My YES schedule, as I look at my calendar, is full all the way until April, because last semester and and all of last year, I continued to never say NO. As a result, I'm currently rethinking that I may alter the Rooster philosophy some and learn to say,
Yes...Perhaps. Let me check my life schedule and where I am in the Universe before I commit. I tell you what. Maybe I need to consult grant funders, to find a way to do that for you, so that I can get better support for K-12 teachers and youth - this work needs to be financed and it's expensive and time-consuming. Okay, I appreciate the request, but I'm going to have to say NO until you bring a library of books to this classroom I've been volunteering in. Yes, I know. I know. I usually say Yes, but I'm on a campaign to leverage the work I do so that the cause is of greater support for the very people I love to work with. I tell you what, I will trade my YES if you will provide me a TRUST where I can continue to fund the excellence of teachers and kids, even after I'm long gone.
So, if in the near future you may hear NO from me, but I want you to 'know' it's not you. It's all me. I'm working through my relationship with a work ethic that has always been good to me, but it is currently drowning me. My NO is not meant as an insult, but as a YES to me - to save me so I can be here tomorrow for the Yes(es) that matter most.
Well, would you look at that? It's February already. Great month. Weren't we just here?
And I'm writing a blog post where I'm admitting there may be power in NO, too.
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