It's Still Early in 2019, So I Guess It's Excusable That 2018 Is Still Hanging On With Its Claws.

So, I returned to work. Well, at least I tried to work. Rather than have the rainbow twirl from hell, the computer decided it would give me the blueberry, azure spiral of death. The machine just doesn't want to work, and the first thing I did was call the technology people on campus to ask if a new machine arrived. Their response, "Oh, Dr. Crandall. We never sent that in. Our bad."

Yes. It is almost impossible to do my job at the University when I have a computer that doesn't work. It has been on the fritz for three years and serviced more times than I can count. Rather than fix the computer, I've been given a two-year runaround, working from my IPhone, my iPads and the loaners when they come my way. This is how 2018 is trying to hang on and not let go. It wants to wrap a cloak around my throat and frustrate me into giving up. I have work to do and can't wait. I will trudge one!

The irony is that the computer decided to freeze when I was inquiring about whether or not the new computer arrived (which it hasn't because it wasn't ordered). So, I got another loaner.

Breathe in. Breathe out. I'm much too upbeat to give into the shenanigans of terrible bureaucracies.

I did deposit a check for a tremendous grant, managed to download a few materials I need for the next couple of days, and then watched 6 hours of blueberry tilt-o-whirl.  That's when I gave up, gave in, went home and decided to cook.

Akbar came for dinner because he wanted to read Laurie Halse Anderson's Shout and to catch up about his life over the last few weeks. I'm proud to say that he got a high A in his freshman English course (and I stayed out of it - let him be him).

When he announced he was coming for dinner, I scrambled to find something to make and even googled "fast and easy chicken recipes." I found one that asked if I had honey, soy sauce, and garlic, which I did. The next thing I know, I'm making a wonderful stir fry with those ingredients and it was delicious. Of course, I didn't get on my semester like I had planned to, but we ate well.

Rather, I now have extreme pains in my shoulder and neck from trying to do my job on a cellphone. The screen is too tiny and I simply have too many materials to sift through. Ah, but the work needs to be done.

I welcome the work of 2019 because I have no fear of it. I do, however, challenge the working conditions of 2018. I can't work this way any longer. It's unreasonable and impossible.

I'm hoping by this time next week I will have a new computer. I do have a loaner now. That is one saving grace.

I Must Be Approaching Mid-Life, Because New Year's Day Was All About "Remember When?"

Yesterday, I spent the morning soaking in New Year's wishes, making my 2019 Birthday video for Facebook, cleaning, running, putting away outdoor Christmas lights, walking the beach with friends, and catching all the year-end reviews, including many on CNN.

It's funny, because I think I was in 5th grade when I first saw Dick Cavett's HBO series that reflected on all the events (this was the 80s and I remember thinking one day all that trivia will mean something to me). I vividly recall, however, the year that the show ended with Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes "Up Where We Belong" to highlight a montage of 1982 events. These were days when a cable wire and box came out of the t.v. and the only one that had it was in my dad's man-cave. Still, I have a detailed memory, age ten, that news mattered and nothing sits still.

Now, highlight the 90s when I finished high school and had my late teens and early twenties, especially London, 10 years later, when I came back from a life-changing experience and an entirely different worldview (nothing has been the same since). By then, cable was more a mainstay in our lives and the ubiquitousness of channels was a cultural norm. I remember my father used to bitch that I would watch MTV's Real World like a fanatic. I had to - it was like my living experience in London: a potpourri of strangers from multiple backgrounds all living together in a strange city. The zest of super-diversity had me hooked and when I came back to the U.S. I continued the pattern. I loved being in the company of people who were unlike me, individuals who had different perspectives, angles, life experiences and cultures.

Of course, Reality Bites came out a couple of years later spoiling the Real World for me, when I realized that everything in the U.S. tends to be made into a commercial. Real World got ridiculously oversexed and soap-opera-like and then Road Rules, a spin-off of the MTV pattern, soon did the same. I was getting older. The shenanigans of idiots in their 20s was no longer appealing. I was teaching and in a different world. The Real World was not the glitz of real life, but that of Hollywood. In other words, it grew stupid rather quickly.

When one is living encompassed in a cocoon of their own generation, they don't realize what is actually going on: 70s to 80s to 90s to Y2K (and the world didn't blow up). I started thinking about dial-up modems, answering machines, the oncoming of the Jerry Springer Show. The times changed quickly and we simply moved along with it. Michael Jackson's Thriller video. The nation paused to experience. Prince came along. Madonna.

I'm simply thinking that I was lucky to grow up at the time that I did, living off lessons of the other decades before me (with an appreciation for them, but not an understanding).

It wasn't until my 30s that I really discovered The Beatles or Elvis Presley. I didn't care. Now I do. I get it. Our place and time on this Earth-shenanigan is marred by the cultural moments of our time. Yes, it's historical events, but it is also the art that helps us to find meaning in our lives. It's going to be strange for me to hear Sean-man, Jacob, Dylan, Nikki and Chitunga reminiscing about the era(s) that made their generation (I'm thinking that Penguin club Nikki belonged to and Fortnight now for the youngest ones).

Phew. Aging is beautiful, but also difficult. I'm still trying to catch up on all the history I missed and now new histories are coming at me faster and faster.

But back to "Up Where We Belong." It was the first time I saw a montage and is probably why I chronicle my year every year as I do. There's something about seeing images from the last 365 days that humbles a man.

Crandall in 2013

Crandall in 2014

Crandall in 2015

Crandall in 2016

Crandall in 2017

It is amazing to see how much everyone has changed over the last 6 years. I guess it brings me up to where I belong, too.

Welcome to 2019! Twenty Years Ago We Were Partying Like It Was 1999. Geesh. Phew!

It's year #12 for blogging and year #27 since I've been journaling every day. My first post each year is rather light (and I will admit  that I made it almost...ALMOST...to 11 p.m.). It's not that I don't want to see the ball drop, it's just that by the time I reach this holiday, I'm simply exhausted. The transition of years is more a location of reflection and realigning of where I want to be.

I've always said that my favorite year of teaching was to young people in their junior year, simply because there was an intellectual blooming that occurred, mostly because the students went into a chrysalis of self-reflection and understanding. I thought that might be a perfect theme for 2019, as I'm in need of wrapping myself in a tight space for a while to figure out what it is I want to concentrate on next. 2018 was phenomenal to me, as all the years usually are, but I'm ready to embrace a new set of wings and want to do some writing, introspection, and realigning in the days to come to figure out where it is I want to go and be next.

Happy New Year, Everyone! I hope your 2018 was spectacular and that you have tremendous promise ahead for the next 365 days. I leave you with the montage from the year that once was and begin today collecting photos and memories for 2019.

Love to you, your friends, your family and your hopes. I'm optimistic that it's going to be just fine - that is my one hope for us all.